Mum and Dad were married for 58 years - both met when they were in their mid 20s. Theirs was a marriage of love - not arranged or match-made, common in those days.
Dad had come from China when he was six. Mum was born in Singapore as a British subject. They met at a market along Geylang Lorong 25. Dad was helping Grandfather with his fabric business while Mum was peddling vegetables for her father.
Our maternal grandfather had disapprove of their relationship - in part due to gossipy friends who warned him that Dad comes from a complicated family (in-law issues specifically). Mum used to tell us, she stayed the course - we never got to ask why - but she always alluded to us, the kids for her remaining in the marriage.
We grew to understand that besides the 6 kids they had, it was their mutual love for each other that made them stick together for so long. In more than slightly half a century of marriage, they were plenty of instances of this strong and binding love. Somehow, after each tiff they had, they would always find ways to make peace - the meals, the eating out or the buying lottery - any gesture to make up after a quarrel no matter how heated.
A piece of bread delivered to the hair salon
This was related to us by Mety, our helper. She had brought Mum to the hair dresser and there was a long wait. Dad was at home. When he realized that both of them had not return, he prepared a piece of wholemeal bread and brought it to Mum - as she was diabetic, he was worried that she would be hungry while waiting her turn.
Travels
13-Day China Trip
I traveled with both my parents in 2003 for 13 days to various southern cities in China. The final leg was at Dad's hometown in YongChun, Fujian Province. It was during the trip that I witnessed how much they both basically love each other. At each stop, Dad would gather Mum's laundry to wash - even after I suggested we could let the hotel do them. Mum had never believed in letting others do her laundry - of course, she would also take turns to do Dad's laundry too during the trip. How did I know, the laundry lines would be extended in their hotel rooms.
Jakarta to visit Geok
When Geok was based in Jakarta with her family, we planned a trip to spend one weekend - we also took the opportunity to visit Khiam who works there. Our Brother in law planned a day trip by car to Bandung (the highway had by then been completed). We did not think Mum would like the journey so she stayed back in the city with Geok.
Throughout the journey, I could sense that Dad missed Mum - and when I came back to Jakarta - Geok told me that Mum kept asking if Dad was returning from Bandung. She kept asking her if someone was knocking at her door.
Choosing our new house
When we sold our jumbo flat, it was done before I found our current one. In the course of our search for the new flat, Mum's recurrent instruction to me was to make sure it was in the same estate as our previous one - where bus services would be available so that Dad could still make his regular trips to the clan Association where he spent much time - meeting with his friends and playing mahjong with them. This simple instruction spoke volumes of how much she really cared for him.
New Year, New Home-made Boxers
There was a ritual during lunar new year when we were young that also spoke of Mum's love for Dad. She would buy pyjama-patterned fabric to make Dad's boxers. Being new year means new clothes - to the finer details of the boxers. She was always a good seamstress - she even sewed the older siblings' school uniforms (Mattar East Primary School).
These are but only some examples that I could recall of how, in their simple but practical ways, both of them showed their affection and love for each other. I am sure my siblings especially the older ones would remember even more.
Happy Holidays !
Wednesday, December 6, 2017
Sunday, August 13, 2017
Car-less Whispers
I went car-less for 3 weeks recently. It was by choice. I had in the past went car-less but only for selected trips, for example into town to avoid hefty car park charges or crazy traffic (especially during exhibitions or fairs like IT or PC Shows.
So, this round it was a real simulation of no longer owning a car.
I used mainly buses to travel to SAFRA for my daily swims or into town to catch lunches with Geok or friends. Since classes have not started, those were my primary travel needs. Its home-SAFRA and vice versa; home-Bedok or Tampines (grocery shopping or Soka activities) Ez-link card was my mode of payment. Though I had driven a private hire car for almost 7 months, the past three weeks I saw no need for using either Grab or Uber save once when I had to travel to pick up a parcel at night from Tampines to Upper East Coast.
My main peeve about public transport is primarily about crowds during peak hours. As my travels were mainly non-peak, they were pleasant enough. I have to however say that bus drivers do need more training on not being brake-happy. the swerving and hitting of brakes can cause a lot of discomfort for passengers, not to mention dangers of falling for the elderly or those with kids. The other complaint is the condition of some buses. Some were wobbling and the engines sounded like they had been really overworked.
Reminded of my traveling days in the 70s on those non-aircon buses. Come on - Comfort Delgro - we are in the 21st century. If we are going to move large crowds around, we should make their journeys more pleasant or bearable, right? Fortunately, I did not encounter any MRT breakdowns though there were many instances of these over the three weeks. Personally, being car less had some inconveniences - I had to lug my swim bag and stuff around (made a mistake once of shopping for quite a few bags of groceries and the arm was hurting the next day).
Waiting time for buses can be also unpleasant in the hot weather but otherwise quite manageable using the MyTransport App. Of course my 'smell' karma does become quite pronounced during peak hours or on crowded services when fellow commuters with less hygienic habits share seats with me. We should seriously have a campaign on this.
Did I miss my car ? Yes, momentarily when I suddenly thought of going certain places and realized it was not with me. Would I go car-less permanently ? The jury is out on this. My Hyundai Avante has been very useful and somewhat sentimental to me I had used it for both Mum and Dad over the last 7 years.
I still remember bringing them to collect the car when it arrived in 2009. Some of my nephews and siblings have also used it over the course of its life. Its fully paid up and has a good 26 months more to the expiry of its COE. The running expenses are standard and I had also recently spent a bit to replace some really old parts and it feels quite new.
In my attempt to sell it on some online sites, I had met with the old tricks of dealers which make the experience less than pleasant. In the course of my working life, I had driven 7 different cars (bear in mind there were years when COE was non-existent as a policy or concept). For the time being, I would savour the experience of mobility and freedom with my car. Now when I drive past buses or commuters walking towards MRT stations or even though hailing private hire cars - I can truly say - I know how you feel.
I used mainly buses to travel to SAFRA for my daily swims or into town to catch lunches with Geok or friends. Since classes have not started, those were my primary travel needs. Its home-SAFRA and vice versa; home-Bedok or Tampines (grocery shopping or Soka activities) Ez-link card was my mode of payment. Though I had driven a private hire car for almost 7 months, the past three weeks I saw no need for using either Grab or Uber save once when I had to travel to pick up a parcel at night from Tampines to Upper East Coast.
My main peeve about public transport is primarily about crowds during peak hours. As my travels were mainly non-peak, they were pleasant enough. I have to however say that bus drivers do need more training on not being brake-happy. the swerving and hitting of brakes can cause a lot of discomfort for passengers, not to mention dangers of falling for the elderly or those with kids. The other complaint is the condition of some buses. Some were wobbling and the engines sounded like they had been really overworked.
Reminded of my traveling days in the 70s on those non-aircon buses. Come on - Comfort Delgro - we are in the 21st century. If we are going to move large crowds around, we should make their journeys more pleasant or bearable, right? Fortunately, I did not encounter any MRT breakdowns though there were many instances of these over the three weeks. Personally, being car less had some inconveniences - I had to lug my swim bag and stuff around (made a mistake once of shopping for quite a few bags of groceries and the arm was hurting the next day).
Waiting time for buses can be also unpleasant in the hot weather but otherwise quite manageable using the MyTransport App. Of course my 'smell' karma does become quite pronounced during peak hours or on crowded services when fellow commuters with less hygienic habits share seats with me. We should seriously have a campaign on this.
Did I miss my car ? Yes, momentarily when I suddenly thought of going certain places and realized it was not with me. Would I go car-less permanently ? The jury is out on this. My Hyundai Avante has been very useful and somewhat sentimental to me I had used it for both Mum and Dad over the last 7 years.
I still remember bringing them to collect the car when it arrived in 2009. Some of my nephews and siblings have also used it over the course of its life. Its fully paid up and has a good 26 months more to the expiry of its COE. The running expenses are standard and I had also recently spent a bit to replace some really old parts and it feels quite new.
In my attempt to sell it on some online sites, I had met with the old tricks of dealers which make the experience less than pleasant. In the course of my working life, I had driven 7 different cars (bear in mind there were years when COE was non-existent as a policy or concept). For the time being, I would savour the experience of mobility and freedom with my car. Now when I drive past buses or commuters walking towards MRT stations or even though hailing private hire cars - I can truly say - I know how you feel.
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