怀念追忆母亲的一生
陈亚圆 追悼会
我的家人、亲戚朋友和创价协会的会员们,大家晚上好。感谢你们出席我母亲,陈亚圆的追悼会。
我妈妈在英国殖民时期的一个大家庭里出世，她是家里的长女。她向我外婆学了很多好手艺，下厨、缝纫和持家。她煮的东西简单又健康但是她也会确保我们有机会吃到她拿手的咖喱鸡、炒面、酸甜虾。我还记得过节拜拜时她包的粽子。
为了省钱，妈妈会亲手帮哥哥们缝校服。不需要再穿时，她会送给经济能力和我们一样不太好的邻居。她也会帮我们缝短裤，也一定确保我爸爸新年有新裤子穿。这都体现了她对我们的爱。
妈妈在旧芽龙25巷卖菜时认识爸爸，我爸当时在卖布。爸爸和妈妈23岁结婚，一起生活了大半辈子，给了我们六个兄弟姐妹,一个温暖的家。
因为来自一个比较传统的家庭，妈妈因为是女儿所以没有机会上学，但她知道只有受教育才能摆脱贫穷。虽然我妈没读书，但她很有智慧，很懂得人情世故。
她全力支持鼓励我姐姐要受教育， 妈妈告诉姐姐要读书将来才能支持弟弟的教育。妈妈相信家和万事兴，所以她要家人同心团结，因此她从小就教导我们要互相关心照顾家人。
在家里，妈妈对数字特别敏感，她心算速度非常快，我们都很惊讶。是从和她玩牌，我们才发现这点，她过世的前几个月还能玩牌。她也能从亲戚的生肖清楚说出亲戚的岁数。
我妈妈不怎么喜欢旅行，因为她更享受和家人在一起的时间。可是我爸爸喜欢旅行，所以她会迁就。结婚大约60年里，他们去了不少国家和地方。
我妈很有好奇心和也很风趣. 妈妈也会记住感恩别人对她的好。照顾她时,妈妈常会对我和家里的帮手Mety 说谢谢。
她给我们的教诲是：“做人不要太计较，生命无常；做人要看开点。”“工作得老老实实做’ 她也常提醒我们：“宁愿被人占便宜也 不要占人便宜”。
我妈是在1986年开始唱诵南无妙法莲华经。她的信念很单纯，她的祈求常是为别人，尤其是为家人，和她共同生活了58年的老公，她的孩子和孙子们。和她唱诵时，我常听到她为家人祈求健康平安。她一生也知足常乐，懂得感恩， 她常说 “我活够了，我已经很满足了！”
这几年，面对年老和死亡这个自然过程她很坦然，她会祈求让她自己平静地离开。我很欣慰，妈妈在九月二号这天如愿平静地离开人世,而且她脸色粉嫩平静地离开了。
在她临终时，感恩我们能陪伴在她身边,为她献上她爱喝的可乐（coke zero），将她每天唱诵念经的珠链放在手里。然后我轻声告诉她：”妈妈，安心地走，去和爸爸会合”。
在我们唱诵南无妙法莲华经时 ，妈妈给了我们的最后一份礼物：她脸上带着一丝笑容与我们道别， 妈妈85年的生命平静终结了。
Wednesday, November 5, 2014
Eulogy for Mum - delivered on Friday 5 September
Remembering & Celebrating Mother’s Life…..
Good evening family, friends and members of the Singapore Soka Association. Thank you for joining us this evening as we remember and celebrate my Mother, Mdm Tan Ah Ee’s life.
Mum was born during the British colonial days. She grew up as the eldest daughter of a big family. She learnt many useful skills from our grandmother – cooking, sewing and home keeping. Her food was always simple but healthy though she also made sure we never lacked the experience of her signature curry chicken, fried noodles, and sweet and sour prawns We also remember the annual ritual of making dumplings for the whole family.
To save money, she sewed the uniforms of my older brothers. When those were no long needed, she gave them to our equally poor neighbors. She sewed shorts for us but her labor of love was to make sure Dad had new ones every Lunar New Year.
She met Dad while peddling vegetables at the old Geylang Lorong 25 market while he was selling fabric there. They married at 23 and spent most part of their lives giving the 6 of us a home.
Coming from a traditional family, Mum as a daughter did not receive an education. But she knew the importance of education to get out of poverty. What she lacked in education, she more than made up for in her observations of human behavior and worldly wisdom.
Even when our finances were tight, she encouraged and fully supported Geok , our only Sister to have a university education. She told Geok that with an education, she would be able to support me. Mum believed in strength from unity and harmony. As we grew up, she taught us to look out and look after each other.
In our family, she was well known for her numeracy skills – she could do mental calculation fast and she surprised many of us. We found this through playing cards with her even till her last few months. She could tell the ages of relatives by their year of birth in the Chinese horoscope.
Mum did not like travelling much as she always enjoyed the comfort of being home with her family – but she always made exception because Dad loved to travel. In the almost 6 decades of her marriage, they went to many places.
Mum had a curious mind and a wry wit – she was always grateful for small gestures that others do for her. She understood the challenges of caregiving for an elderly, and she would often thanked me and Mety who is our helper, whenever we did things for her.
Mum’s greatest legacy for us is her words of wisdom. Do not be calculative (cho lang mai keh kao – 做人不要记较) as life is short – in her Hokkien, Cho Lang Hum Hum （做人 看开点）. Her other words of wisdom include – Chiau Kee Kang Lai Cho (never cut corners when working to earn your keeps). She also reminded us not be vengeful – Hor lang pni, mai pni lang 宁愿给人便宜也 不要佔人便宜）. (This portion was delivered in Hokkien)
Mum started chanting NMHRGK in 1986. Her faith in the Gohonzon was pure – her prayers were always about others – particularly her family – her husband of 58 years, her children and grandchildren. Often, while chanting with her, I would hear her praying for our safety and our well-being. She had also expressed contentment with her full life. In her own words, (wa wa-kow liao - I have lived enough).
In the later years, she became more stoic about aging and death as a natural process – she chanted for it to be peaceful and pain free. Our prayers for her was also highly focused - that she should be in the highest life condition to transform her karma; to lessen her karmic retribution and to attain Buddhahood.
She achieved this ultimate victory on the 2nd September in our presence.
We are grateful for sharing her final moments – after offering her drops of her favorite Coke Zero and putting on her chanting beads. I whispered to her that it was alright to move on and to join our father.
With the strains of our chanting NMHRGK, Mum gave us the ultimate gift when she broke into a small smile and concluded her full 85 years of life.
Good evening family, friends and members of the Singapore Soka Association. Thank you for joining us this evening as we remember and celebrate my Mother, Mdm Tan Ah Ee’s life.
Mum was born during the British colonial days. She grew up as the eldest daughter of a big family. She learnt many useful skills from our grandmother – cooking, sewing and home keeping. Her food was always simple but healthy though she also made sure we never lacked the experience of her signature curry chicken, fried noodles, and sweet and sour prawns We also remember the annual ritual of making dumplings for the whole family.
To save money, she sewed the uniforms of my older brothers. When those were no long needed, she gave them to our equally poor neighbors. She sewed shorts for us but her labor of love was to make sure Dad had new ones every Lunar New Year.
She met Dad while peddling vegetables at the old Geylang Lorong 25 market while he was selling fabric there. They married at 23 and spent most part of their lives giving the 6 of us a home.
Coming from a traditional family, Mum as a daughter did not receive an education. But she knew the importance of education to get out of poverty. What she lacked in education, she more than made up for in her observations of human behavior and worldly wisdom.
Even when our finances were tight, she encouraged and fully supported Geok , our only Sister to have a university education. She told Geok that with an education, she would be able to support me. Mum believed in strength from unity and harmony. As we grew up, she taught us to look out and look after each other.
In our family, she was well known for her numeracy skills – she could do mental calculation fast and she surprised many of us. We found this through playing cards with her even till her last few months. She could tell the ages of relatives by their year of birth in the Chinese horoscope.
Mum did not like travelling much as she always enjoyed the comfort of being home with her family – but she always made exception because Dad loved to travel. In the almost 6 decades of her marriage, they went to many places.
Mum had a curious mind and a wry wit – she was always grateful for small gestures that others do for her. She understood the challenges of caregiving for an elderly, and she would often thanked me and Mety who is our helper, whenever we did things for her.
Mum’s greatest legacy for us is her words of wisdom. Do not be calculative (cho lang mai keh kao – 做人不要记较) as life is short – in her Hokkien, Cho Lang Hum Hum （做人 看开点）. Her other words of wisdom include – Chiau Kee Kang Lai Cho (never cut corners when working to earn your keeps). She also reminded us not be vengeful – Hor lang pni, mai pni lang 宁愿给人便宜也 不要佔人便宜）. (This portion was delivered in Hokkien)
Mum started chanting NMHRGK in 1986. Her faith in the Gohonzon was pure – her prayers were always about others – particularly her family – her husband of 58 years, her children and grandchildren. Often, while chanting with her, I would hear her praying for our safety and our well-being. She had also expressed contentment with her full life. In her own words, (wa wa-kow liao - I have lived enough).
In the later years, she became more stoic about aging and death as a natural process – she chanted for it to be peaceful and pain free. Our prayers for her was also highly focused - that she should be in the highest life condition to transform her karma; to lessen her karmic retribution and to attain Buddhahood.
She achieved this ultimate victory on the 2nd September in our presence.
We are grateful for sharing her final moments – after offering her drops of her favorite Coke Zero and putting on her chanting beads. I whispered to her that it was alright to move on and to join our father.
With the strains of our chanting NMHRGK, Mum gave us the ultimate gift when she broke into a small smile and concluded her full 85 years of life.
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