Remembering & Celebrating Mother’s Life…..
Good evening family, friends and members of the Singapore Soka Association. Thank you for joining us this evening as we remember and celebrate my Mother, Mdm Tan Ah Ee’s life.
Mum was born during the British colonial days. She grew up as the eldest daughter of a big family. She learnt many useful skills from our grandmother – cooking, sewing and home keeping. Her food was always simple but healthy though she also made sure we never lacked the experience of her signature curry chicken, fried noodles, and sweet and sour prawns We also remember the annual ritual of making dumplings for the whole family.
To save money, she sewed the uniforms of my older brothers. When those were no long needed, she gave them to our equally poor neighbors. She sewed shorts for us but her labor of love was to make sure Dad had new ones every Lunar New Year.
She met Dad while peddling vegetables at the old Geylang Lorong 25 market while he was selling fabric there. They married at 23 and spent most part of their lives giving the 6 of us a home.
Coming from a traditional family, Mum as a daughter did not receive an education. But she knew the importance of education to get out of poverty. What she lacked in education, she more than made up for in her observations of human behavior and worldly wisdom.
Even when our finances were tight, she encouraged and fully supported Geok , our only Sister to have a university education. She told Geok that with an education, she would be able to support me. Mum believed in strength from unity and harmony. As we grew up, she taught us to look out and look after each other.
In our family, she was well known for her numeracy skills – she could do mental calculation fast and she surprised many of us. We found this through playing cards with her even till her last few months. She could tell the ages of relatives by their year of birth in the Chinese horoscope.
Mum did not like travelling much as she always enjoyed the comfort of being home with her family – but she always made exception because Dad loved to travel. In the almost 6 decades of her marriage, they went to many places.
Mum had a curious mind and a wry wit – she was always grateful for small gestures that others do for her. She understood the challenges of caregiving for an elderly, and she would often thanked me and Mety who is our helper, whenever we did things for her.
Mum’s greatest legacy for us is her words of wisdom. Do not be calculative (cho lang mai keh kao – 做人不要记较) as life is short – in her Hokkien, Cho Lang Hum Hum （做人 看开点）. Her other words of wisdom include – Chiau Kee Kang Lai Cho (never cut corners when working to earn your keeps). She also reminded us not be vengeful – Hor lang pni, mai pni lang 宁愿给人便宜也 不要佔人便宜）. (This portion was delivered in Hokkien)
Mum started chanting NMHRGK in 1986. Her faith in the Gohonzon was pure – her prayers were always about others – particularly her family – her husband of 58 years, her children and grandchildren. Often, while chanting with her, I would hear her praying for our safety and our well-being. She had also expressed contentment with her full life. In her own words, (wa wa-kow liao - I have lived enough).
In the later years, she became more stoic about aging and death as a natural process – she chanted for it to be peaceful and pain free. Our prayers for her was also highly focused - that she should be in the highest life condition to transform her karma; to lessen her karmic retribution and to attain Buddhahood.
She achieved this ultimate victory on the 2nd September in our presence.
We are grateful for sharing her final moments – after offering her drops of her favorite Coke Zero and putting on her chanting beads. I whispered to her that it was alright to move on and to join our father.
With the strains of our chanting NMHRGK, Mum gave us the ultimate gift when she broke into a small smile and concluded her full 85 years of life.
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