A Mother's love and her lesson on self-preservation

Today's report about '5,000 teachers leave service over 5 years' brought back memories of how I left full time work. In particular, a conversation Mum had with me in 2006 showed me her love for her children and therein also a lesson in self preservation.

I had an unpleasant telephone conversation with a superior at work - over the telephone in my bedroom. It was over some HR issues that we both disagreed. In the conversation, my voice was raised when accusations were made. Mum as usual was in my room, seated at the edge of my bed.  She was unable to make sense of the episode as the call was in English.  However, the gesticulations, the tone and expression on my face must have conveyed the unpleasantness of it all.

After the call ended, she spoke in Hokkien - "Guan, mai cho la. Bo hua hee, mai cho. Mother bo su yao ler ae lui."(roughly translated - don't continue at this job since you are unhappy - I don't need your money (allowance).

I was taken aback as I didn't expect her to have absorbed so much of a telephone chat that she could not have possibly made sense. I regained my composure and told her it was fine - just some work issue and I was talking loudly as the other party could not hear me.

I then went out for drinks with some friends - in my drive, I thought and was overwhelmed by the love Mum showed me - she was not interested that I kept the job that brought the money home - she was more concerned with how I was treated and taking care of myself - in other words - my self preservation.

It was one of the key reasons why I decided to leave corporate. I needed to assure her that taking care of myself was important as it also meant I was able to care of them too.

For those who are stuck in unhappy jobs - take a breather - do some reality checks about your expenses and needs.  Ask yourself, have you been fair to your colleagues and employer - are you doing the job because you have to - and not that you want to anymore.

Remember - you mean a lot to people who truly love you. Your well being is most important because it is a vital function of what you can do for them and those you love too.  Having a well paying job means you can provide materially but not having a happy you pains them even more.

Stay happy !