The Love Affair Of Our Parents

Mum and Dad were married for 58 years - both met when they were in their mid 20s.  Theirs was a marriage of love - not arranged or match-made, common in those days. 

Dad had come from China when he was six. Mum was born in Singapore as a British subject.  They met at a market along Geylang Lorong 25. Dad was helping Grandfather with his fabric business while Mum was peddling vegetables for her father. 

Our maternal grandfather had disapprove of their relationship - in part due to gossipy friends who warned him that Dad comes from a complicated family (in-law issues specifically).  Mum used to tell us, she stayed the course - we never got to ask why - but she always alluded to us, the kids for her remaining in the marriage.

We grew to understand that besides the 6 kids they had, it was their mutual love for each other that made them stick together for so long.  In more than slightly half a century of marriage, they were plenty of instances of this strong and binding love.  Somehow, after each tiff they had, they would always find ways to make peace - the meals, the eating out or the buying lottery - any gesture to make up after a quarrel no matter how heated.


A piece of bread delivered to the hair salon

This was related to us by Mety, our helper.  She had brought Mum to the hair dresser and there was a long wait.  Dad was at home.  When he realized that both of them had not return, he prepared a piece of wholemeal bread and brought it to Mum - as she was diabetic, he was worried that she would be hungry while waiting her turn.

Travels

13-Day China Trip

I traveled with both my parents in 2003 for 13 days to various southern cities in China.  The final leg was at Dad's hometown in YongChun, Fujian Province.  It was during the trip that I witnessed how much they both basically love each other.  At each stop, Dad would gather Mum's laundry to wash - even after I suggested we could let the hotel do them.  Mum had never believed in letting others do her laundry - of course, she would also take turns to do Dad's laundry too during the trip.  How did I know, the laundry lines would be extended in their hotel rooms.

Jakarta to visit Geok

When Geok was based in Jakarta with her family, we planned a trip to spend one weekend - we also took the opportunity to visit Khiam who works there.  Our Brother in law planned a day trip by car to Bandung (the highway had by then been completed).  We did not think Mum would like the journey so she stayed back in the city with Geok.

Throughout the journey, I could sense that Dad missed Mum - and when I came back to Jakarta - Geok told me that Mum kept asking if Dad was returning from Bandung.  She kept asking her if  someone was knocking at her door.

Choosing our new house

When we sold our jumbo flat, it was done before I found our current one.  In the course of our search for the new flat, Mum's recurrent instruction to me was to make sure it was in the same estate as our previous one - where bus services would be available so that Dad could still make his regular trips to the clan Association where he spent much time - meeting with his friends and playing mahjong with them.  This simple instruction spoke volumes of how much she really cared for him.

New Year, New Home-made Boxers

There was a ritual during lunar new year when we were young that also spoke of Mum's love for Dad.  She would buy pyjama-patterned fabric to make Dad's boxers.  Being new year means new clothes - to the finer details of the boxers.  She was always a good seamstress - she even sewed the older siblings' school uniforms (Mattar East Primary School).

These are but only some examples that I could recall of how, in their simple but practical ways, both of them showed their affection and love for each other.  I am sure my siblings especially the older ones would remember even more.

Happy Holidays !