Something interesting happened when I turned 55. Some people who knew and those who happened to find out, other than wishing me the traditional way, also added ' so, got cpf liao'.
It is a uniquely Singaporean occurrence.
Many of us who turned 55, of course were reminded 6 months earlier when CPF Board sent us a booklet explaining the various schemes that we have to consider in respect of our retirement plans.
Interestingly and perhaps deliberately, the booklet highlighted the ways we should retain our money in the Retirement Account to earn more interest - and exhorted those who have more than ample funds to increase the amount to be set aside (i.e. enhanced amount of S$240k). What is subtly left out is tell us how to withdraw any excess.
This is not to say nobody did. In fact, I know of some friends or their friends who did the most shiok (fun) thing when they reached 55 - applied to draw down their excess funds (of the retirement sum). Some even went ahead to purchase their dream overseas properties or go for that dream holiday.
Most feel that these hard earned monies have been too long overdue - hack, after so many decades of slogging at their jobs, the money is the proverbial pot of gold - though frankly its not nothing to sing about. But for many, they have never (including me) got their hands on such a large amount of money before.
So what options do we have now by way of investing - interest rates are dismal. Any other number of investment schemes have turned awry - recent reports of fellow Singaporeans losing hundreds of thousands and even millions in ponzi-like schemes overseas are just tip of the iceberg. The property market if believe reports, is supposed to recovering (I never felt it was down at any rate over the past few years). If the recent enbloc frenzy is anything to go by, a bubble might yet be building again.
Most I think would just leave the money in their CPF Retirement Account. After all, the interest offered is not low by any measure.
Hope you are making use of your CPF savings in productive ways.....
Thursday, September 26, 2019
Remembering Mum 5 years on.....ultimately it will be memories that sustain us.
Mum left us on 2 Sep 2014. It certainly feels like it was yesterday. Since her passing, much had taken place.
I had not shared much about the months leading to her passing. After 5 years, I feel timely and would like to.
Almost 1.5 years before, I had a nice conversation with Mum. It was a Sunday when Mety, our helper took her day off. As usual, Geok and I would plan activities for Mum to keep her occupied. Typically, it would be lunch at the hawker centre, card games with her or even strolls in the gardens within the estate. If it got too warm, it would be us holed up in the air-conditioned room watching TV and chatting.
Mety had showered for Mum and she was comfortably seated in the couch in my study. As she was flipping her playing cards, I asked her in Hokkien - "Are you concerned about me being alone in the future?" She was very relaxed and looked up with her signature smile - "concerned about you ?" I was very surprised by her answer after "Why do I need to worry about you? You are not 'gong' (hokkien for dumb or stupid). When I related this to my close friends, they said Mum knew I would be able to take care of myself since I was street smart enough. Mum also saw how the siblings took care of each other and felt assured that we would be fine. I felt very reassured.
In August 2014, I was in class and Beng had taken time to have dinner with her at home. This was related to me by him. She had turned to Beng to ask for me - and after he told her that I was teaching, she asked "he is a teacher?". Then she told Beng - "Ah Guan is a good man". That was all she said even after Beng tried to prod her to explain she just kept quiet and continued with her card game.
It brought tears to me when Beng told me this conversation. Ours is a family that acts more than expresses and this was comforting as it was sad - because intrinsically we knew that she was preparing for the conclusion of her life.
Ultimately, all we have are memories of our loved ones when they are no longer with us - I am grateful that we were given many opportunities especially in their latter years to build more of such heart warming and fond ones that we can relive whenever we miss them.
I had not shared much about the months leading to her passing. After 5 years, I feel timely and would like to.
Almost 1.5 years before, I had a nice conversation with Mum. It was a Sunday when Mety, our helper took her day off. As usual, Geok and I would plan activities for Mum to keep her occupied. Typically, it would be lunch at the hawker centre, card games with her or even strolls in the gardens within the estate. If it got too warm, it would be us holed up in the air-conditioned room watching TV and chatting.
Mety had showered for Mum and she was comfortably seated in the couch in my study. As she was flipping her playing cards, I asked her in Hokkien - "Are you concerned about me being alone in the future?" She was very relaxed and looked up with her signature smile - "concerned about you ?" I was very surprised by her answer after "Why do I need to worry about you? You are not 'gong' (hokkien for dumb or stupid). When I related this to my close friends, they said Mum knew I would be able to take care of myself since I was street smart enough. Mum also saw how the siblings took care of each other and felt assured that we would be fine. I felt very reassured.
In August 2014, I was in class and Beng had taken time to have dinner with her at home. This was related to me by him. She had turned to Beng to ask for me - and after he told her that I was teaching, she asked "he is a teacher?". Then she told Beng - "Ah Guan is a good man". That was all she said even after Beng tried to prod her to explain she just kept quiet and continued with her card game.
It brought tears to me when Beng told me this conversation. Ours is a family that acts more than expresses and this was comforting as it was sad - because intrinsically we knew that she was preparing for the conclusion of her life.
Ultimately, all we have are memories of our loved ones when they are no longer with us - I am grateful that we were given many opportunities especially in their latter years to build more of such heart warming and fond ones that we can relive whenever we miss them.
In the end, what counts....
“Come to think of it, finally, it’s only friendship that matters.” - the late Mr Lee Kuan Yew to Robert Kuok when they met in 2007/8. - If i remember quote correctly. Do let me know if I had misquoted.
Recently, I was told something a trainer shared with his participants, or rather bragged to them. He was telling them how much money he made during his younger days and how he decided to move to a 'bungalow in the sky' (apartment) instead of staying in their landed property.
Throughout the session, he only made a fleeting mention about his late parents - that his only regret was not having told them that he was rich.
It got me thinking - perhaps that was his way of expressing himself - to each his own I guess.
What has this got to do with the quote at the start ?
I think we should encourage people to share about the relationships that have changed or influenced their lives. Especially for those of us who are in our middle age. Our society has made quantitative measure of success such a standard, we do not seemed to be able to move away from talking about what we own, now or before. Talking of relationships or people are also awkward for most.
Perhaps that is the reason, we see very high hits of video clips or quotes online that help us express this part of us.
I thought it would be meaningful as we close the year to recollect some of these relationships in my life.
Many of you would have read my posts regarding my parents and siblings - they count for a lot in my life - particularly the past couple of decades. Not when I was younger though - we had our youthful distractions and the growing pangs and pains so we also had our difficult phases together.
I am however, grateful these did not become internalised to a point where being in the same space was difficult too (like those in the movies). We mellowed and became closer as we overcame challenges together.
From my parents, I learnt perseverance and sticking together through thick and thin. They married for over 58 years and saw so many trials and tribulations that would have resulted in them going their separate ways many times over. But they stuck it out. We were the better for it.
From them I also learnt to cook and enjoy home cooked meals. They always made sure we had warm food on the table no matter how far out we went to play in the neighbourhood. Like clockwork, the dishes were always placed nicely on our kitchen table for us.
Both of them taught us the simple virtue of hard work. We are not rich by any measure today, but we know that what we have, we earned it. To rip what we sow - thats Mum's mantra to us when we all started work.
Hope this post offers something to think about the people closest and dearest to you.
Recently, I was told something a trainer shared with his participants, or rather bragged to them. He was telling them how much money he made during his younger days and how he decided to move to a 'bungalow in the sky' (apartment) instead of staying in their landed property.
Throughout the session, he only made a fleeting mention about his late parents - that his only regret was not having told them that he was rich.
It got me thinking - perhaps that was his way of expressing himself - to each his own I guess.
What has this got to do with the quote at the start ?
I think we should encourage people to share about the relationships that have changed or influenced their lives. Especially for those of us who are in our middle age. Our society has made quantitative measure of success such a standard, we do not seemed to be able to move away from talking about what we own, now or before. Talking of relationships or people are also awkward for most.
Perhaps that is the reason, we see very high hits of video clips or quotes online that help us express this part of us.
I thought it would be meaningful as we close the year to recollect some of these relationships in my life.
Many of you would have read my posts regarding my parents and siblings - they count for a lot in my life - particularly the past couple of decades. Not when I was younger though - we had our youthful distractions and the growing pangs and pains so we also had our difficult phases together.
I am however, grateful these did not become internalised to a point where being in the same space was difficult too (like those in the movies). We mellowed and became closer as we overcame challenges together.
From my parents, I learnt perseverance and sticking together through thick and thin. They married for over 58 years and saw so many trials and tribulations that would have resulted in them going their separate ways many times over. But they stuck it out. We were the better for it.
From them I also learnt to cook and enjoy home cooked meals. They always made sure we had warm food on the table no matter how far out we went to play in the neighbourhood. Like clockwork, the dishes were always placed nicely on our kitchen table for us.
Both of them taught us the simple virtue of hard work. We are not rich by any measure today, but we know that what we have, we earned it. To rip what we sow - thats Mum's mantra to us when we all started work.
Hope this post offers something to think about the people closest and dearest to you.
Three 'Siew Mais' For Every Visit - My Dad and his father
Our paternal grandfather (Lau Keng Hong), brought Dad to Singapore in 1936. Dad was 6 years old then. He told us about the boat trip that took 60 days from YongChun County, Fujian Province to Singapore.
Like many from south China, immigration was the only way out of the dire living conditions in the villages and a shot at seeking a break in Nanyang.
Grandfather was in the fabric trade and Dad helped him in his youth. They lived in Lorong 27, Geylang for many years. There former homes are now part of the road leading to the Aljunied MRT station saved for some shop houses still there. Dad was to be a bus conductor, an insurance agent and for almost 48 years thereafter, the secretary of the Geylang Villagers Association.
After our paternal grandmother passed away, grandfather's health also deteriorated. Though he was more senior, his physical constitution was far stronger than hers. She passed away from a heart attack one night at home.
Grandfather suffered from severe dementia.
When our youngest Uncle died from alcoholism at 43. Dad took the initiative to propose that Grandfather be placed at a home. By then he was already unable to communicate and could not recognise anyone. Dad chose one near Telok Kurau as it was one nearest to our place where he could visit.
His visits took place weekly and in each occasion, he would bring along three siew mais for grandfather as that was his favourite snack. He would relate Grandfather's condition to Mum after each visit. So we found out through their chats.
Dad fulfilled his filial duties the best way he knew. There was much disagreement amongst the siblings on how to pay for and manage his care. I still remember that Dad would help his father to send money to his youngest brother in YongChun for many years. After grandfather passed on, Dad continued to do so whenever he could though it was very trying since our family of 8 was also going through our own hardship.
Grandfather passed away at the home in the middle of the night. We were informed by the director in the morning. In the course of his entire adult life, Dad kept to his confucian values of always being respectful of Grandfather and acceding to his demands and calls for help whenever things happened to his younger siblings and we have had many after midnight calls of such nature.
Dad brought Grandfather back to China when he was in his 40s and the later in his 70s. Subsequently, he brought both Grandfather and Grandmother back once. My trip with Dad and Mum in 2003 was his 4th trip back since the journey to Singapore in 1936.
Like many from south China, immigration was the only way out of the dire living conditions in the villages and a shot at seeking a break in Nanyang.
Grandfather was in the fabric trade and Dad helped him in his youth. They lived in Lorong 27, Geylang for many years. There former homes are now part of the road leading to the Aljunied MRT station saved for some shop houses still there. Dad was to be a bus conductor, an insurance agent and for almost 48 years thereafter, the secretary of the Geylang Villagers Association.
After our paternal grandmother passed away, grandfather's health also deteriorated. Though he was more senior, his physical constitution was far stronger than hers. She passed away from a heart attack one night at home.
Grandfather suffered from severe dementia.
When our youngest Uncle died from alcoholism at 43. Dad took the initiative to propose that Grandfather be placed at a home. By then he was already unable to communicate and could not recognise anyone. Dad chose one near Telok Kurau as it was one nearest to our place where he could visit.
His visits took place weekly and in each occasion, he would bring along three siew mais for grandfather as that was his favourite snack. He would relate Grandfather's condition to Mum after each visit. So we found out through their chats.
Dad fulfilled his filial duties the best way he knew. There was much disagreement amongst the siblings on how to pay for and manage his care. I still remember that Dad would help his father to send money to his youngest brother in YongChun for many years. After grandfather passed on, Dad continued to do so whenever he could though it was very trying since our family of 8 was also going through our own hardship.
Grandfather passed away at the home in the middle of the night. We were informed by the director in the morning. In the course of his entire adult life, Dad kept to his confucian values of always being respectful of Grandfather and acceding to his demands and calls for help whenever things happened to his younger siblings and we have had many after midnight calls of such nature.
Dad brought Grandfather back to China when he was in his 40s and the later in his 70s. Subsequently, he brought both Grandfather and Grandmother back once. My trip with Dad and Mum in 2003 was his 4th trip back since the journey to Singapore in 1936.
Wednesday, September 25, 2019
On spirituality - and my practice
This post is a very personal take on my Buddhist practice. It hopes to promote understanding and, if it so happens those who feel inclined might wish to try it. Thank you for reading.
I have written before on why I am a Buddhist. To me, it is a philosophy - not a religion in the strictest sense of the word.
So I am spiritual but not religious. I am part of a religious organization by way of having a support network for community or fellowship - to be connected with others who also practice this philosophy.
I like this Huff Post article (https://www.huffpost.com/entry/religious-vs-spiritual_b_576b1b14e4b083e0c02350c1) on the difference between spirituality and religion - of course there are shades of grey (no offense intended for borrowing the infamous phrase of the title of the book 😅)
Of particular interest are these phrases : Spiritual person knows that there is only one truth and they are in fact in charge of their own evolution and destiny. They also know that nothing is “written” and all our futures are shaped by our desires and the power of our minds.
Do you believe in the power of your own self and that you are in charge of your destiny? In this case you are spiritual.
So when I share that I chant, what am I actually doing ? The action of chanting is based on the core teaching of the Lotus Sutra that the essence of life is cause and effect - this goes beyond existential and visible realms but also transcends space and time.
In effect, I am tapping into my highest state of life called Buddhahood (which everyone absolutely possesses. The chant of Nam-myo-ho renge-kyo is like a clarion call to this state to emerge. All phenomena have 10 states or life conditions - the lowest of which is hell while the pinnacle is where Buddha nature resides.
When we chant, we are clearing the debris of the lower worlds to reveal the highest life state. It has often been likened to polishing our inner tarnished mirror.
So - in the 33 years of practice, we are still learning about our practice. With the internet, others who are doing the same from all corners of the world also share their experiences. I came across this reminder of how we should chant for our desires (btw, earthly desires are enlightenment contrary to traditional belief that we should be totally detached from the world)
First : set specific goals or objectives that you are chanting for. These should include people, timeline and most important - the outcome that you want to see.
Second : make it into a campaign with amount of chant that you commit to do. This is about galloping chant that is resolute and sonorous. All the time keeping the ‘outcome’ in mind. No strategizing or scheming because the universe would find the ladened chant to heavy to realize.
Third : when you are distracted as you definitely would be, refocus to go back to keep up the momentum.
Fourth : Because you have started the campaign and the chant has been triggered in the universe, you must practice wisdom to look out for prompts or steps that are related to your ‘outcome’ - a phone call, a connection that has resurfaced or a referral that suddenly emerged etc. This is important - we do not encourage blind faith but action-based practice.
Fifth : Perhaps most vital : keep chanting.
That’s what I do - and it’s even for the most rudimentary things in my life. After all, our happiness which is what we live for is surely not a high brow notion alone but embedded in every aspect of our daily existence.
May you find your path to happiness too.
I have written before on why I am a Buddhist. To me, it is a philosophy - not a religion in the strictest sense of the word.
So I am spiritual but not religious. I am part of a religious organization by way of having a support network for community or fellowship - to be connected with others who also practice this philosophy.
I like this Huff Post article (https://www.huffpost.com/entry/religious-vs-spiritual_b_576b1b14e4b083e0c02350c1) on the difference between spirituality and religion - of course there are shades of grey (no offense intended for borrowing the infamous phrase of the title of the book 😅)
Of particular interest are these phrases : Spiritual person knows that there is only one truth and they are in fact in charge of their own evolution and destiny. They also know that nothing is “written” and all our futures are shaped by our desires and the power of our minds.
Do you believe in the power of your own self and that you are in charge of your destiny? In this case you are spiritual.
So when I share that I chant, what am I actually doing ? The action of chanting is based on the core teaching of the Lotus Sutra that the essence of life is cause and effect - this goes beyond existential and visible realms but also transcends space and time.
In effect, I am tapping into my highest state of life called Buddhahood (which everyone absolutely possesses. The chant of Nam-myo-ho renge-kyo is like a clarion call to this state to emerge. All phenomena have 10 states or life conditions - the lowest of which is hell while the pinnacle is where Buddha nature resides.
When we chant, we are clearing the debris of the lower worlds to reveal the highest life state. It has often been likened to polishing our inner tarnished mirror.
So - in the 33 years of practice, we are still learning about our practice. With the internet, others who are doing the same from all corners of the world also share their experiences. I came across this reminder of how we should chant for our desires (btw, earthly desires are enlightenment contrary to traditional belief that we should be totally detached from the world)
First : set specific goals or objectives that you are chanting for. These should include people, timeline and most important - the outcome that you want to see.
Second : make it into a campaign with amount of chant that you commit to do. This is about galloping chant that is resolute and sonorous. All the time keeping the ‘outcome’ in mind. No strategizing or scheming because the universe would find the ladened chant to heavy to realize.
Third : when you are distracted as you definitely would be, refocus to go back to keep up the momentum.
Fourth : Because you have started the campaign and the chant has been triggered in the universe, you must practice wisdom to look out for prompts or steps that are related to your ‘outcome’ - a phone call, a connection that has resurfaced or a referral that suddenly emerged etc. This is important - we do not encourage blind faith but action-based practice.
Fifth : Perhaps most vital : keep chanting.
That’s what I do - and it’s even for the most rudimentary things in my life. After all, our happiness which is what we live for is surely not a high brow notion alone but embedded in every aspect of our daily existence.
May you find your path to happiness too.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)