Remembering Mum 5 years on.....ultimately it will be memories that sustain us.

Mum left us on 2 Sep 2014.  It certainly feels like it was yesterday.  Since her passing, much had taken place.

I had not shared much about the months leading to her passing. After 5 years, I feel timely and would like to.

Almost 1.5 years before, I had a nice conversation with Mum. It was a Sunday when Mety, our helper took her day off. As usual, Geok and I would plan activities for Mum to keep her occupied.  Typically, it would be lunch at the hawker centre, card games with her or even strolls in the gardens within the estate.  If it got too warm, it would be us holed up in the air-conditioned room watching TV and chatting.

Mety had showered for Mum and she was comfortably seated in the couch in my study. As she was flipping her playing cards, I asked her in Hokkien - "Are you concerned about me being alone in the future?"  She was very relaxed and looked up with her signature smile - "concerned about you ?"  I was very surprised by her answer after "Why do I need to worry about you?  You are not 'gong' (hokkien for dumb or stupid).  When I related this to my close friends, they said Mum knew I would be able to take care of myself since I was street smart enough.  Mum also saw how the siblings took care of each other and felt assured that we would be fine.  I felt very reassured.

In August 2014, I was in class and Beng had taken time to have dinner with her at home.  This was related to me by him.  She had turned to Beng to ask for me - and after he told her that I was teaching, she asked "he is a teacher?".  Then she told Beng - "Ah Guan is a good man".  That was all she said even after Beng tried to prod her to explain she just kept quiet and continued with her card game.

It brought tears to me when Beng told me this conversation.  Ours is a family that acts more than expresses and this was comforting as it was sad - because intrinsically we knew that she was preparing for the conclusion of her life.

Ultimately, all we have are memories of our loved ones when they are no longer with us - I am grateful that we were given many opportunities especially in their latter years to build more of such heart warming and fond ones that we can relive whenever we miss them.