Where I live in Bedok Reservoir Road, there are plans to build 3 blocks of elderly studios. It will be on a piece of land that used to be the venue of political rallies during general elections. When it was first announced, I had visited the HDB website to find out more regarding such studios.
I have friends whose parents live in such flats. Though I have never visited one, I heard the conditions are pretty decent. Many of these elderly are wise - they sold their original HDB flats to downgrade to these studios as their children married and moved out. Their original flats had become too big. At the financial level, they have 'monetized' their assets and are living on these retirement funds.
To be clear, all these elderly are ambulant and independent. Many enjoy their freedom and the convenience that a smaller flat offers in terms of maintenance. Furthermore, such flats are equipped with grab-bars and other elderly friendly amenities.
Which brings me to the current fracas overly the elderly studios at Toh Yi estate and the elderly corner at Sembawang. Many misconception regarding the elderly facilities are perpetuated by hearsay or heartland rumor. These are of course rooted in actual experiences of people who lived near elderly or had elderly family members.
One such neighbor who lives in the block that would face the the new elderly studio flats told Huat, my 3rd brother that 'it is terrible to live near the elderly'. Mind you, this neighbor is himself in his early 60s. He related that his old neighbor used to take care of an elderly woman who is the grandmother. She was demented and with many ailments. This neighbor went on to describe animatedly how the family members of this house neglected the old lady to the extent of not even bathing her and letting her defecate as well as urinate in the hall. The stench from the poor hygiene was carried into their neighbors' houses too. In fact, the family was so exasperated with her condition, they left her stark naked most of the time - perhaps to save on the trouble of cleaning up after her.
The first thing that crossed my mind when I heard the account, was - perhaps they family could not afford some kind of domestic help, let alone sending her to a living facility such as an old folks home? But the domestic situation of each family is different and as outsiders, we are in no position to comment nor judge.
All these bad experiences of family members or their friends will surely perpetuate the negative perception of living with the elderly.
At the macro-level, what is clearly in dire shortage is our social network that provides for such eventual needs of the elderly. This topic has been discussed extensively and no satisfying solution seems to be in the horizon given the escalating costs of everything especially land.
At the individual level, we need to understand the dynamics of living with an elderly and vice versa. Family members have to make conscious efforts to As a surely potential elderly myself - I dread the kind of society that I am aging into if the controversy over the facilities is anything to go by.
Wednesday, February 8, 2012
Friday, December 9, 2011
Tuesday, December 6, 2011
Mum's Mercedes :-)
Mum has a Mercedes - vintage in fact that is more than 50 years. She raves about it to us all the time. She has done much on it - since we were very young. We even got our school uniform, home tablecloth, curtains, TV covers (yes, television used to be such a big ticket item for homes especially the one-roomers like ours in Mattar Road that we would have nice looking covers sewn to protect it from dust ;P)
I am of course referring to our dependable and loyal sewing machine. Recently, we got it repaired and given to my 3rd Sister-in-law as she would find much more use of it than us. The repairman is a Mr Roland Yap who has a small shop space opposite our block at Bedok Reservoir Road. He told me that even though he stays in Woodlands, he took a shop space here because many of his old kampong (village) customers are still living in this vicinity. He started repairing sewing machines and bicycles since 14 years old. He told me that before all these flats were built in the early 70s, the land were all small kampongs.
The repair of the machine involved dismantling the parts to spray with WD40 and using a piece of cloth to wipe the insides clean. After the half hour work, he even sewed a piece of cloth with it to show mum. Proud workmanship. :-)
Geok reminded me that when we were little, we used so sit on the peddle of the sewing machine to 'drive' like its our car as there is a 'steering wheel' for us to play pretend. So many memories.
I am of course referring to our dependable and loyal sewing machine. Recently, we got it repaired and given to my 3rd Sister-in-law as she would find much more use of it than us. The repairman is a Mr Roland Yap who has a small shop space opposite our block at Bedok Reservoir Road. He told me that even though he stays in Woodlands, he took a shop space here because many of his old kampong (village) customers are still living in this vicinity. He started repairing sewing machines and bicycles since 14 years old. He told me that before all these flats were built in the early 70s, the land were all small kampongs.
 |
| The peddle area where we used to sit and hold on to the 'steering wheel' in front to imagine driving our car. |
Geok reminded me that when we were little, we used so sit on the peddle of the sewing machine to 'drive' like its our car as there is a 'steering wheel' for us to play pretend. So many memories.
 |
| Our Mercedes. Printed on it are the words "50 years Guarantee". The new woodwork was replaced after the original plain wood wore out. Recently, when I watched the movie 'Already Famous' - a similar looking machine was featured in Michelle Chong's kampong house in Yong Peng, Malaysia. |
 | |
| Mum trying out after the Mr Yap repaired our machine for S$35/- Mum is seen here sewing up the torn up cover that had kept the machine covered for more than a few decades. She sews quite well, by the way. |
 |
| While Mum is able to sew, she needs help with threading the needle :p That is where Mety, our helper comes in. |
Monday, November 14, 2011
Glad we made the trip....
My later Father came to Singapore when he was 6 years old in 1936. Together with his parents and my eldest aunt, they braved a 40-day boat ride from 留安 township in Yong Chun (永春）county, Fujian （福建）Province in China.
Yong Chun is popular for its Mandarin oranges that we buy for the Lunar New Year. It has absolutely nothing to do with the Yong Chun martial arts though many friends mistake it so.
I spent 13 days between September/October in 2002 traveling in China with my parents- we went to Guangzhou (广洲）， Swatow (汕头）， Hainan (海南）, Teochew (潮洲), and Xiamen (厦门）. The tour group (which actually comprised the 3 of us and another elderly couple (a 80 year old chinese man who used to run a tailoring shop in Peoples' Park as well as his 69 year old wife) ended its itinerary in Xiamen.
The 3 of us then proceeded to YongChun. Dad's cousin, Gart Boh (刘乐模) fetched us for the 2 hour drive into the 'village'. The trip was interesting for me as I retraced Dad's journey to Singapore. It is meaningful as I discovered many aspects our our ancestry including finding our 'family book' or record of our genealogy (家谱).
The ancestral home was still there then. We visited but could not stay as the basic amenities were still lacking too :-p. Gart Boh put us up in the YongChun Hotel - one of the better ones there. By the time we visited, many overseas Chinese had invested in the development of the county. A Malaysian Chinese who was from YongChun built a massive convention and exhibition center that was largely underutilized except by migrants from the inner cities peddling their souvenirs as well as food.
The roads around the town of the village are well paved and there were even internet/video game parlors (网吧）。 People from the village are well known building artisans, they also work in coal mines and grow the popular ponkan (mandarin oranges).
Dad at 6
Our grand-aunt showed us a framed photograph of Dad at 6. It was taken the day they set off for Singapore. Our great-grandfather had engaged a photographer to capture the historic moment. As I could not remove it from the frame, I had to retake it with my video cam as a still and then redevelop it when I returned to Singapore.
I made copies of it :p for fear that we might lose it. Here it is :
Dad was obviously quite a mischievous child - a close-up of him shows him making a face at the photographer.
Family Tree Book
The next thing we discovered was the family tree book or (家谱). Though the records were disrupted for some reason, it was quite emotional to read Dad's name in the list. It was also through this book that Dad found out by accident that his biological mother had passed away when he was very young. Grandfather had married thrice - the second wife passed away too without bearing him any offspring whilst Dad was the only child from the first wife. The Grandmother we knew while growing up bore him 10 children - 5 boys and 5 girls.
Dining & wining (almost)
During our stay, we were treated to dinner every night by different groups of relatives. The food was familiar fare - those that we were brought up on. Breakfast at the hotel was plain porridge with pickles and fritters. Lunches were also fairly delicious home-cooked style food. Dinners were more deliberate affairs as liquor was always involved with many rounds of toasts. As visitors, we were expected to drink - a useful phrase 随意 - according to your means - was my way of getting out of the binges.
Ancestral 'home'
Over the years, we knew Dad had sent money back to either help in building bridges or repairing the 'old home' (老屋）。 One such construction was the ancestral home or (祖屋）。 Dad showed me the engraving that acknowledged his contribution, amongst the thousands of overseas Chinese who helped to erect the building that houses the ancestors of the village.
Genealogy - our genes
When I saw many of our relatives - one thing struck me - there are some uncanny similarities in our physical features - the sharper nose, the more thicker eyebrows, and the more prominent facial features. Gart Boh is my age - he is my 'Uncle' and has 3 daughters and one son - he obviously tried to ensure a male lineage :-) - I just recently chatted with him on msn - his eldest daughter studied English in Murdoch University and has settled there. His family has also migrated to Melbourne too. One other daughter married someone from Inner Mongolia. He had asked me when I visited in 2002 to 'adopt' her. When he brought it up recently, I joked that if she had come to Singapore - he would not be visiting Inner Mongolia (as he was doing so) as guests of his in-laws.
During my visit, I could not help feeling tickled that I have so many cousins who were about the same age as, or younger than my nephews and nieces. One of the girls recently emailed me in her QQ account. She is all grown up and working as a clerk in the local train station.
To be continued....(getting some more photos scanned - and uploading them as I recall the anecdotes)
Yong Chun is popular for its Mandarin oranges that we buy for the Lunar New Year. It has absolutely nothing to do with the Yong Chun martial arts though many friends mistake it so.
I spent 13 days between September/October in 2002 traveling in China with my parents- we went to Guangzhou (广洲）， Swatow (汕头）， Hainan (海南）, Teochew (潮洲), and Xiamen (厦门）. The tour group (which actually comprised the 3 of us and another elderly couple (a 80 year old chinese man who used to run a tailoring shop in Peoples' Park as well as his 69 year old wife) ended its itinerary in Xiamen.
The 3 of us then proceeded to YongChun. Dad's cousin, Gart Boh (刘乐模) fetched us for the 2 hour drive into the 'village'. The trip was interesting for me as I retraced Dad's journey to Singapore. It is meaningful as I discovered many aspects our our ancestry including finding our 'family book' or record of our genealogy (家谱).
The ancestral home was still there then. We visited but could not stay as the basic amenities were still lacking too :-p. Gart Boh put us up in the YongChun Hotel - one of the better ones there. By the time we visited, many overseas Chinese had invested in the development of the county. A Malaysian Chinese who was from YongChun built a massive convention and exhibition center that was largely underutilized except by migrants from the inner cities peddling their souvenirs as well as food.
 |
| The front of the Grand-Uncle's home. Taiwanese investors had been buying up land to develop into industrial estates. Our ancestral tombs were moved several times to make way for this onslaught. Two years ago, Dad was asked to sign off his claim to some land. We did not pursue details as it is highly unlikely that we would have any interest in it. |
The roads around the town of the village are well paved and there were even internet/video game parlors (网吧）。 People from the village are well known building artisans, they also work in coal mines and grow the popular ponkan (mandarin oranges).
Dad at 6
I made copies of it :p for fear that we might lose it. Here it is :
 |
| Great-grandfather (seated in the front) with Great-grandmother to his right. Dad is standing next to him while Eldest aunt is in front of her. Our Grandparents are standing directly behind them. The front porch where this photograph was taken was still standing when I visited. The other grand aunts and uncles - some of them were octogenarians. The youngest grand-uncle is on the extreme right. He is 85 this year. |
Dad was obviously quite a mischievous child - a close-up of him shows him making a face at the photographer.Family Tree Book
The next thing we discovered was the family tree book or (家谱). Though the records were disrupted for some reason, it was quite emotional to read Dad's name in the list. It was also through this book that Dad found out by accident that his biological mother had passed away when he was very young. Grandfather had married thrice - the second wife passed away too without bearing him any offspring whilst Dad was the only child from the first wife. The Grandmother we knew while growing up bore him 10 children - 5 boys and 5 girls.
 | |||||||
| A photocopy of the family tree record book. |
 | |
| The record of Grandfather's birth and marriage. Dad's birth was also recorded on the right of the page. |
 |
| Dad's name as registered in the book. Translated as Son, Eldest Gart Huan. |
During our stay, we were treated to dinner every night by different groups of relatives. The food was familiar fare - those that we were brought up on. Breakfast at the hotel was plain porridge with pickles and fritters. Lunches were also fairly delicious home-cooked style food. Dinners were more deliberate affairs as liquor was always involved with many rounds of toasts. As visitors, we were expected to drink - a useful phrase 随意 - according to your means - was my way of getting out of the binges.
 |
| From left - (Youngest Grand-Aunt-in-law, Mum, Dad, Youngest Grand-Uncle, a close childhood friend of Dad, Grand-Uncle's daughter). Standing - Son of Grand-Uncle's eldest son, myself, Gart Boh who drove us from Xiaman and his third brother. |
 | ||
| Relaxing in the hall of Dad's birthplace after visitations at various places in the village. Mum watching the youngest son of Grand-Uncle serving tea - a common feature of households in the south of China. Dad chatting with Grand-Uncle. |
Over the years, we knew Dad had sent money back to either help in building bridges or repairing the 'old home' (老屋）。 One such construction was the ancestral home or (祖屋）。 Dad showed me the engraving that acknowledged his contribution, amongst the thousands of overseas Chinese who helped to erect the building that houses the ancestors of the village.
 |
| Dad visiting the ancestral 'home' Notice the fine carvings and exquisite roofing of the building. Apparently the structure is designed not to retain water nor falling leaves. Neat ! |
When I saw many of our relatives - one thing struck me - there are some uncanny similarities in our physical features - the sharper nose, the more thicker eyebrows, and the more prominent facial features. Gart Boh is my age - he is my 'Uncle' and has 3 daughters and one son - he obviously tried to ensure a male lineage :-) - I just recently chatted with him on msn - his eldest daughter studied English in Murdoch University and has settled there. His family has also migrated to Melbourne too. One other daughter married someone from Inner Mongolia. He had asked me when I visited in 2002 to 'adopt' her. When he brought it up recently, I joked that if she had come to Singapore - he would not be visiting Inner Mongolia (as he was doing so) as guests of his in-laws.
During my visit, I could not help feeling tickled that I have so many cousins who were about the same age as, or younger than my nephews and nieces. One of the girls recently emailed me in her QQ account. She is all grown up and working as a clerk in the local train station.
 |
| Photo taken with 'cousins' during the farewell dinner. The girl seated to my left shares many features - in fact I thought she looks like Angelina, my eldest niece. |
To be continued....(getting some more photos scanned - and uploading them as I recall the anecdotes)
Sunday, November 13, 2011
Upbringing vs Up(Yours)bringing - musing on upbringing
Sorry for the rude headline but what I witnessed during lunch yesterday would best be described this way.
We were at Tung Lok Paramount at about 11.20am. It was quite empty except another table with three adults. While waiting for our visitors from Australia, a family of 5 came into the restaurant - grandparents, a young mother and two children. One of the boys screamed his way into the restaurant while the rest strolled in behind him. The younger boy who is probably about 5-6 years old turned around and shouted "I want to sit upstairs". His grandmother and mother explained that the upper level is not opened for seating. What happened after that was like a hostage situation. Everyone including the other restaurant staff stood around looking at the boy as if The boy refused to let up - he kept insisting loudly that he wanted to 'sit upstairs'. The entire family except all stood around the restaurant looking at him while he went on. It took a dutiful restaurant manager to coax the boy by offering to bring him downstairs to see the other seating and to show him (quite needlessly since it is in full view) that the upper deck is not meant for dining.
The hostage situation was then resolved. A little later, the father of the kids walked in - probably after parking his car. He sat down and began ordering the food. What I saw after that also shocked me - the brat who was screaming earlier on - use his left foot to kick his father's face. A little visibly upset, all the father did was put the kid's foot down and uttered something to him.
The manager of the restaurant very kindly offered to move us to a private room as she explained - "understandable it might be too noisy for you". Frankly, I was keen to watch how the meal for the family would pan out. But we nonetheless took her up on the offer and had a wonderful time catching up with our friends.
I do not have kids. I might not fully understand the anguish and trials of bringing them up. I cannot help feeling sad for his parents - but I also blame them for his upbringing. To be fair to the child, he appears very intelligent and well loved. He might be a kid who has attention deficit disorder or other marginal developmental condition. I doubt though. I can also imagine them enjoying his moments of cleverness or wittiness that many parents mistake as 'cute' or 'smart'.
There are 'boundaries' or rules that parents must set for their children just as adults we respect the boundaries in our interaction or discourse with others. It is not a question of disturbing others in a public place, but what this kid would become to society at large when he grows up.
Just my two cents -:-)
We were at Tung Lok Paramount at about 11.20am. It was quite empty except another table with three adults. While waiting for our visitors from Australia, a family of 5 came into the restaurant - grandparents, a young mother and two children. One of the boys screamed his way into the restaurant while the rest strolled in behind him. The younger boy who is probably about 5-6 years old turned around and shouted "I want to sit upstairs". His grandmother and mother explained that the upper level is not opened for seating. What happened after that was like a hostage situation. Everyone including the other restaurant staff stood around looking at the boy as if The boy refused to let up - he kept insisting loudly that he wanted to 'sit upstairs'. The entire family except all stood around the restaurant looking at him while he went on. It took a dutiful restaurant manager to coax the boy by offering to bring him downstairs to see the other seating and to show him (quite needlessly since it is in full view) that the upper deck is not meant for dining.
The hostage situation was then resolved. A little later, the father of the kids walked in - probably after parking his car. He sat down and began ordering the food. What I saw after that also shocked me - the brat who was screaming earlier on - use his left foot to kick his father's face. A little visibly upset, all the father did was put the kid's foot down and uttered something to him.
The manager of the restaurant very kindly offered to move us to a private room as she explained - "understandable it might be too noisy for you". Frankly, I was keen to watch how the meal for the family would pan out. But we nonetheless took her up on the offer and had a wonderful time catching up with our friends.
I do not have kids. I might not fully understand the anguish and trials of bringing them up. I cannot help feeling sad for his parents - but I also blame them for his upbringing. To be fair to the child, he appears very intelligent and well loved. He might be a kid who has attention deficit disorder or other marginal developmental condition. I doubt though. I can also imagine them enjoying his moments of cleverness or wittiness that many parents mistake as 'cute' or 'smart'.
There are 'boundaries' or rules that parents must set for their children just as adults we respect the boundaries in our interaction or discourse with others. It is not a question of disturbing others in a public place, but what this kid would become to society at large when he grows up.
Just my two cents -:-)
New letter boxes secure but junk mail reappears
This appeared today on ST Forum Online -
Recently, mailboxes of our flats were replaced with anti-junkmail ones. This was quite a relief as the littering of junk-mails was becoming a serious problem. But this respite did not last. We have since received unaddressed mails from fast food outlets, property developers, shopping malls etc. Since the new mailboxes were 'locked', I would like to ask SingPost to clarify how did the junk mails get delivered?
The whole exercise of replacing our old mailboxes would have been in vain if SingPost allows them to be delivered as a commercial consideration. The littering would resume except that the collection well for junk mail has been removed.
http://www.straitstimes.com/STForum/OnlineStory/STIStory_733603.html
Recently, mailboxes of our flats were replaced with anti-junkmail ones. This was quite a relief as the littering of junk-mails was becoming a serious problem. But this respite did not last. We have since received unaddressed mails from fast food outlets, property developers, shopping malls etc. Since the new mailboxes were 'locked', I would like to ask SingPost to clarify how did the junk mails get delivered?
The whole exercise of replacing our old mailboxes would have been in vain if SingPost allows them to be delivered as a commercial consideration. The littering would resume except that the collection well for junk mail has been removed.
http://www.straitstimes.com/STForum/OnlineStory/STIStory_733603.html
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
I am a Buddhist
Friends who know me - often wonder why I became a Buddhist.
We came from a family of traditional ancestor worshipers. When we were young, Mom would bring Geok and I to temples to pray to the various deities. I remember fondly the outing with them to the Amoy Street temple - that is now a heritage building too. Mom would be considered a pious disciple - she would always pray for the good health of Dad and all of us, including our success in our studies and work etc.
We were more Taoist-Buddhist followers (in the traditional sense). Dad was active in the committee of the Geylang United Temple. It was really a filial duty as his Father has handed him the responsibilities as the latter had also been active.
My introduction to the practice of Nichiren Daishonin's Buddhism happened in 1985 while I was in the University. Many things were happening in the family front. Both Dad and Mum were involved in gambling and there was much squabbles over money issues.
I was also at the age when I was asking fundamental questions about life. In the years preceding that I had also explored other faiths.
I still remember that Geok was the one who started chanting the mantra 'Nam-myo-ho-renge-kyo'. She was introduced by Khiam, our second brother. Interestingly, at that time, our eldest sister-in-law, Irene also started practicing on her own. We did not know of this until much later.
I had always been a 'self-believer' - in fact, I told friends in the army and also those from school that I was a non-believer or atheist. I always felt that life was within our own grasp - our destiny was something we had to take charge.
But I was also overwhelmed by the many trials that life was throwing at me. Acne, relationship issues, plans for studies, and many more. Geok told me that I should try and that 'it works'.
I remember the day I chanted the first time. I had just returned from NUS. I felt very tired and overwhelmed. I knelt facing east - and chanted. For the few minutes I did, I felt a calm over myself. I cried tears of relief (of what I was not sure). I felt connected with my inner self.
Thereafter, I started to read up on Buddhism. I also joined the Student Division of then Nichiren Daishonin Buddhist Association in Singapore (now the Singapore Soka Association). We attended meetings at the homes of other members too. We were introduced to the warmth and generosity of Soka members very well-known throughout the world.
What drew me to the practice of Buddhism?
It is the values that the Soka Gakkai International (SGI) - (http://www.sgi.org/) promotes - peace, culture and education are central to the activities of our practice. Our Buddhist practice engages us to take charge of our lives so that inner transformation occurs. We are constantly working to create value (in human connections) in all our stations in life.
To me, this practice is a philosophy. Yes, I chant Nam-myo-ho-renge-kyo - and it is a most basic practice of the faith. I also recite the Lotus Sutra (teachings that embody the absolute Law of Cause & Effect). A few key precepts in my practice resonates with me and have remained deeply entrenched in my life. They also guide my life and how I relate to others.
The first is the teaching of Ten Worlds. These Ten Worlds (or life states) exist in every phenomena. I will not go into too much detail. Suffice to say, I have witnessed time and again the workings of the Ten Worlds in the people and situations I have encountered. This link (http://www.sgi-uk.org/index.php/buddhism/tenworlds) of the SGI-UK provides a good reading of the precept.
In essence, it is that humans can attain Buddha-hood - the embodiment of wisdom, courage and hope. It is the ultimate life state one can achieve. To be sure, it is not when a halo appears over your head or a supernatural state.
It is essentially about clarity - of one's weaknesses or causes that contribute to one's woes as well as one's immense potential to overcome them. The human race has triumphed because individuals let this state prevail for the greater good. We have very sterling examples of such 'Buddhas' - some even in our midst.
At the same time, we are also capable of being in a state of hell - a world of immense suffering that is not limited to just the physical kind. Humans are capable of being really evil. History has produced many of those too.
To be certain, life states fluctuate every moment of our lives. In fact, there is a teaching of Three Thousands Moments in One Moment (一念三千）- indeed very profound. To us, a person who is nearing the end of his life or suffering immense physical pain is also capable of achieving Buddha-hood. Similarly, a person in the state of Buddha-hood could be in a simultaneous state of Hell.
I have been practicing Buddhism since 1986. It has transformed my life in many ways - both materially and otherwise. It has improved our family life immensely. I find much joy in compassion - I also find inner expanse in detachment - though I also subscribe to the teaching that earthly desires are enlightenment too. The Law of Cause and Effect is absolute. Through our practice, we can create the causes not only within our lives but in our universe to be aligned to prayers.
I have gained much in sharing this great philosophy with people who are willing to listen - not just those in search for a 'compass' in their daily life. I do not believe in proselytizing - only sharing. I would be happy that lives of those around me are a little better for having known me.
Other friends who knew me from my earlier career days - lament the loss of the hard-driving and demanding person in me. This is especially so for those who feel that it is a persona that would be helpful to them. I feel sad when that happens. But I am hopeful that when they see me as a fundamentally 'better' person, they will come round to my thinking.
I have through my practice, overcome many challenges in my life. I hope to share them in my blog over time. Keep in touch !
We came from a family of traditional ancestor worshipers. When we were young, Mom would bring Geok and I to temples to pray to the various deities. I remember fondly the outing with them to the Amoy Street temple - that is now a heritage building too. Mom would be considered a pious disciple - she would always pray for the good health of Dad and all of us, including our success in our studies and work etc.
We were more Taoist-Buddhist followers (in the traditional sense). Dad was active in the committee of the Geylang United Temple. It was really a filial duty as his Father has handed him the responsibilities as the latter had also been active.
My introduction to the practice of Nichiren Daishonin's Buddhism happened in 1985 while I was in the University. Many things were happening in the family front. Both Dad and Mum were involved in gambling and there was much squabbles over money issues.
I was also at the age when I was asking fundamental questions about life. In the years preceding that I had also explored other faiths.
I still remember that Geok was the one who started chanting the mantra 'Nam-myo-ho-renge-kyo'. She was introduced by Khiam, our second brother. Interestingly, at that time, our eldest sister-in-law, Irene also started practicing on her own. We did not know of this until much later.
I had always been a 'self-believer' - in fact, I told friends in the army and also those from school that I was a non-believer or atheist. I always felt that life was within our own grasp - our destiny was something we had to take charge.
But I was also overwhelmed by the many trials that life was throwing at me. Acne, relationship issues, plans for studies, and many more. Geok told me that I should try and that 'it works'.
I remember the day I chanted the first time. I had just returned from NUS. I felt very tired and overwhelmed. I knelt facing east - and chanted. For the few minutes I did, I felt a calm over myself. I cried tears of relief (of what I was not sure). I felt connected with my inner self.
Thereafter, I started to read up on Buddhism. I also joined the Student Division of then Nichiren Daishonin Buddhist Association in Singapore (now the Singapore Soka Association). We attended meetings at the homes of other members too. We were introduced to the warmth and generosity of Soka members very well-known throughout the world.
What drew me to the practice of Buddhism?
It is the values that the Soka Gakkai International (SGI) - (http://www.sgi.org/) promotes - peace, culture and education are central to the activities of our practice. Our Buddhist practice engages us to take charge of our lives so that inner transformation occurs. We are constantly working to create value (in human connections) in all our stations in life.
To me, this practice is a philosophy. Yes, I chant Nam-myo-ho-renge-kyo - and it is a most basic practice of the faith. I also recite the Lotus Sutra (teachings that embody the absolute Law of Cause & Effect). A few key precepts in my practice resonates with me and have remained deeply entrenched in my life. They also guide my life and how I relate to others.
The first is the teaching of Ten Worlds. These Ten Worlds (or life states) exist in every phenomena. I will not go into too much detail. Suffice to say, I have witnessed time and again the workings of the Ten Worlds in the people and situations I have encountered. This link (http://www.sgi-uk.org/index.php/buddhism/tenworlds) of the SGI-UK provides a good reading of the precept.
In essence, it is that humans can attain Buddha-hood - the embodiment of wisdom, courage and hope. It is the ultimate life state one can achieve. To be sure, it is not when a halo appears over your head or a supernatural state.
It is essentially about clarity - of one's weaknesses or causes that contribute to one's woes as well as one's immense potential to overcome them. The human race has triumphed because individuals let this state prevail for the greater good. We have very sterling examples of such 'Buddhas' - some even in our midst.
At the same time, we are also capable of being in a state of hell - a world of immense suffering that is not limited to just the physical kind. Humans are capable of being really evil. History has produced many of those too.
To be certain, life states fluctuate every moment of our lives. In fact, there is a teaching of Three Thousands Moments in One Moment (一念三千）- indeed very profound. To us, a person who is nearing the end of his life or suffering immense physical pain is also capable of achieving Buddha-hood. Similarly, a person in the state of Buddha-hood could be in a simultaneous state of Hell.
I have been practicing Buddhism since 1986. It has transformed my life in many ways - both materially and otherwise. It has improved our family life immensely. I find much joy in compassion - I also find inner expanse in detachment - though I also subscribe to the teaching that earthly desires are enlightenment too. The Law of Cause and Effect is absolute. Through our practice, we can create the causes not only within our lives but in our universe to be aligned to prayers.
I have gained much in sharing this great philosophy with people who are willing to listen - not just those in search for a 'compass' in their daily life. I do not believe in proselytizing - only sharing. I would be happy that lives of those around me are a little better for having known me.
Other friends who knew me from my earlier career days - lament the loss of the hard-driving and demanding person in me. This is especially so for those who feel that it is a persona that would be helpful to them. I feel sad when that happens. But I am hopeful that when they see me as a fundamentally 'better' person, they will come round to my thinking.
I have through my practice, overcome many challenges in my life. I hope to share them in my blog over time. Keep in touch !
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)